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Bad Action Figures

Why should only Superheroes and stars of box-office blockbusters reap the benefits of having mini-likenesses of themselves? After years of being obsessed with miniatures, I purchased some Sculpey clay and started sculpting action figures, albeit badly, and telling the stories of some of my favorite people.

All photos in this section by Eric Hauser

Sophie & Rob

SOPHIE Superpower: Teaching even the most uncoordinated to jive Arch nemesis: White cat hair Secret weapon: Hand sanitizer ROB...

Edgar & Michelle

EDGAR Superpowers: Vinyl hunting; Airline seat picking Kryptonite: Traffic Cloaking Shield: A fabulous hat MICHELLE Superpower: Cat...

Julie

JULIE Superpowers: Capturing a photographic scene; Scoring estate sale bakelite bangles Weakness: See aforementioned bakelite acquisition...

Brucie

BRUCIE Superpowers: Libation maker with a memory of steel Cloaking Shield: A growing collection of Tattoos Nemeses: Flat beer and flat...

Tina & Silke

TINA Superpowers: Talking Fast; Humor; Gesturing wildly Arch Nemeses: Corn; Silence Mode of Getaway: Climbing Irrational fears: Flying;...

Mildred

MILDRED Superpowers: Looking fabulous and cutting to the chase Nemeses: Idiots; Bad shoes Signature exclamation: Coño! Faithful sidekick:...

Caitlan

CAITLAN Superpowers: Talking to anyone (anyone!); Ability to be zen or zany Nemesis: Boring situations Favorite cloaking shield: Rotating...

Kate & Bill

KATE Superpowers: Extraordinary Haircuts and Colors Weakness: Vintage Knick-knacks Crowning glory: Blonde curls Secret weapon: Hairspray...

Susan

SUSAN Superpowers: Gift wrapping; Antique store bargaining Arch nemesis: Driving in snow Signature stories: Tales of nursing Cloaking...

Valerie & Dugan

VALERIE Superpower: Story-telling Arch nemesis: Gluten Cloaking Ability: She can seemingly grow her hair multiple inches overnight...